Who the hell suggests sodomy as a correction fo sodoku?

I'm in one of those odd moods today. I don't know what it is but you're just like "fuck this shit" you know. You don't care what happens, you do whatever you want and you crave the punishment you might get as a means of distraction from other things. You want something to distract you so as not to think of other things that may have pissed/annoyed/bothered you. That's the problem, nothings really bothering me at the moment. I'm just in that mood for some odd reason. So far i've wagged another morning class at school and I'm going to head back at around midday, hoping they make me clean something. Yep, I know. Somethings up with my subconscious, it's having its own issues that I am unaware of.

Last night I had a dream..well not a dream but one of those things you think about just before you fall aslep and it kinda morphs and turns unreal you know. Wait one quick thing, my mum practically begged me to stay till July next year a few weeks ago, and I managed to convince her that I would be able to memorize half the quran by then and in that case I may be allowed to go. Well that's not going to happen. My thought/dream type thing was about the confrontation and the argument. I know my mother incredibly well, I know her thought processes and her reactions to certain things, so the first thing I did is walk her to her room and lock the door behind me and take out the key, because I knew she was going to run the second she was losing this argument. The whole thing was extremely detailed with multiple scenarios, the coolest one was definately where she absolutely refused all negoatiations so I threaten to move out so she kicks me out. I have to break into her safe box and take my passport and then pack a few things. I then go on to work as an English teacher in some upper echelon learning institute where they pay me $500 per month. I spend my nights sleeping in a mosque, I then work part time as a gigolo, selling my self to rich widows (that's a recurring dream) to make some money. I finally save up enough after a few months hop on a plane to Perth, live in a park sleeping on benches and dumpster diving for food until I get a decent job and start uni. That's as far as I got till it got too weird...something about purple dinosaurs on weed.

Anyway, I got school today, if I don't get my ass in trouble then I hope to use sodoku as a distraction. I've developed an addiction to that game, i bought 2 books each of diffrent level, 1 and 2. Level one is waay to easy...and 2 is just waaaay too hard. Stupid Yemeni's.

Yeah that's it for now. Catchaz laduh

10 posts! I'm on a roll

Well what do you know, this is my 10th post! So I thought i'd change the tone a little into something more serious. My dreams and aspirations. I want to be able to look back on this one day and say, well shit dude, you did well in life. So I shall compile a short list.


1. Right now, I haven't wanted anything so bad. I want to become a doctor. Yeah I know, this ones kinda common but not just those boring office type GP's who give kids lollies and check out people for herpes. I want to be amazing, I want to be great, I want to be inspiring. I've played around with the thought of what kinda doctor would be most fun and I've decided that my dream job would be a "Trauma Surgeon" or just a trauma doc. No thanks to Dr. Hunt btw (Grey's anatomy ref.). I reckon that would be my kind of calling, no formal hours, no "typical" day, you never know what to expect. On top of that I want to spend say maybe 3-4 years with a foundation like Médecins Sans Frontières. Ever since I met this incredible french guy who sat next to me on my flight back from Yemen last year, he worked for them for like 7 years, just the way he described it! Travelling all over the world, giving aid to victims of war and natural disaster, travelling to places like Chad, Kyrgyzstan, Pakistan, Liberia and the likes. It's really something. Another part of this is that I also want to become a teacher, that's been a big dream too. So if it all works out somehow I want to go work in a teaching hospital or something and just teach.

2. At some point in my life, I want to memorize the entire quran. I could do it now if I wanted to, I mean..i've already started and all but I left too much unfinished business behind like university and certain other details. I want to clear up 2 years and just head out and memorize it. There's so many benefits and I hope to one day achieve that.

3. I want to write a book, that's always been a long standing dream, I don't really care what type of book, novel, biography, poetry. ANYTHING! As for reasoning, I don't really have one. It's just one of those things that you want to do because you do. Can you blame me?

4. I want to be able to speak at LEAST 5 languages by the time i'm...say 30. So far i've got down Somali and English, another couple of months and i'll have Arabic down too. So that leaves two. I've always wanted to learn French and one Asian language, maybe Mandarin or Cantonese or Japanese or Indonesian.

5. I want to open either a school or a hospital/medical clinic at some point in my life. In some non-modern country. Doesn't matter if I work there or not, so long as it exists. As for reasoning, I like to see my accomplishments in the physical form.

6. I want to finish a mechanics course. I don't want to WORK as a mechanic, just have the knowledge to fix and build cars from scratch. I also want to build a car from scratch. That would be truly incredible. 

7. I want to work as a chef through uni and such, I've always loved cooking and it would be a great way to make money. 

Yeah that's it for now. There's others BUT these are the main ones :)
Like I said, I wish to be successful in my life, and thats how I think I'd be happy with life. I mean sure, some things might come up that I never dreamed of, but you just got to take it in your stride, keep your chin up, and walk tall.

 

Late Night Scrawlings Of A Web Addict

Howdy.

It's a late night here, It's my day off so I decided to be a bad boy and go out :) Sides, rents are in Aus, what's the worst that could happen sides getting detained by racist cops and being tortured and forced to reveal the whereabouts of the bomb I planted -.- I have an active imagination sometimes. Anyway, it's a fairly interesting night, I'm considering selling my self as a prostitute to lonely, rich widows who need comforting at night for lack of something better to do, plus I need the money, my heroine stash is getting mighty low. Yep. I can read your mind. And the answer is Yes...I have lost my mind. I lose my mind often...whenever I wanna get LOOSE. *yawn* I get odd when it's late. Get use to it, you'll probably enjoy it more.

Anyway, I just finished watching an AWESOME movie called "Youth In Revolt" starring Michael Cera. Now then, it's pretty much a summer romance type story, the guy is the shy nerdy type and the girl is the hot EVIL kind :D At the end of the summer/holiday he has to move away so the girl plants an evil plot to get his divorced father to get a job in her town and for him to get kicked out of his mothers house by "being a bad boy" ohhh the treachery of women. I love it. He ends up getting his ass arrested but it was well worth the fun along the way. Great movie. One scene where he's trying to get into her bed after he sneaks into her boarding school, my GOODNESS, even I was in shock..Oh I forgot to mention he develops an alter ego that does all the bad stuff so yeah the alter ego starts sweet talking her and my oh my, even I was blushing, here's how it went:

Nick: Umm the floor's cold, do you think I could cuddle next to you?
Sheeni: The whole night?
Nick: yeah
Sheeni: Yeah, I guess it'd be ok.
Nicks alter ego François: Or we could do more then just cuddle
Sheeni: Nick!
François: Ooh I love when you say my name (in a seductive voice). Why don't you pull down those blankets and show me what you're hiding under there.
Sheeni: Is that what you want me to do?
Nick (to François): say yes (in a pleading tone)
François: That is exactly what I want you to do. And then I want to tickle your belly button...from the inside (takes drag from cigarette)
Sheeni: Nick you're being so bad!
François: Not half as bad as the nasty things I want to do to you right now with my tounge. I'm gonna wrap your legs around my head and wear you like the crown that you are.
Nick: If that's ok with you...

Man oh man, now THAT was pretty smooth. Oh btw nothing happens haha the french principal/nanny type thing busts in. But it was still a sweet lead up. I've added a link to the trailer at the end. Def. worth checking out.

For those of you who have not noticed...I have de-activated my fb. I know, I know, you bitches be missing me. Tough luck mate. As for reasons for de-activating...I have compiled a list below:

1. I'm sick of all you bitches telling about how you had a cheeseburger, or you're damn toaster broke or you went to go pee or you took a damn breath. Get over yourself faggot maggot.

2. There wasn't really a number 2.

3. I wanted to see if I could actually last a month without facebook. It's been hard. I open firefox (explorer is for wimps and momma's boys) and my fingers already type in facebook.com and i'm staring at the damn log in page. I'm proud to say i've lasted 4-5 days....just another 25-26 days...no biggy :S


HMMM, what else is up..not much besides the fact that i'm developing a damn blogging addiction! At first it was like oooh blogging i'll try that! And then it was like...but I have nothing to write about...and now it's just like, DUDE! Shut up! Nobody cares about your damn squatting issues! So yeah let me know if I should cut back down on my ranting and what not. And then i'll probably tell you to go stick yourself in the ass with a can of second class pepsi, since you're not good enough for the good shit (anything from the coke company really).

That's it for tonight, I'll probz squeeze in one more post in the next 24 hours or so. Stay tuned folks.
and write a damn comment or some shit you lazy fuckers.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2SC7U8AcItE&feature=related
link to see the "youth in revolt" trailer. Ce'st magnifique non?

*Snoop Dog voice* Hello boys and girls!

Hello children! How are you all today? good, fantastic! Now shut up and read. *black dynamite face*

Dy-No-Mite, wicked as movie btw

Well it's that time of the year, you know what i'm talking 'bout baby. RAMMADHAN! So yeah, here we all are quitting the smokes, the music and all the bad habits and praying more often, ON TIME, and dusting off our Qurans. 'tis good in a way but bad in some, you know how we all become like super muslims for like ONE month and all, the purpose of this month was not temporary, it was to serve as motivation for THE ENTIRE YEAR. So give it a shot, be a super muslim a lil bit longer jah?

So what have I done? Well since i'm going to a boarding school for quran....there isn't that much diffrence, we still get up at 3 a.m and read quran all day long...BUT i'm trying to read the entire quran this month, sides that 'tis a fine month.

OH! Guess what I had to eat before fasting yesterday, EGGS! Fluffy, golden, delicious, scrambled, chicken fetuses! The way my face lit up when I saw that big bowl of eggs was like a kid in toys 'r' us with his daddies wallet. I've been living off of beans and rice for close to 2 months now and EGGS, I don't care how dodgy they looked was close to orgasmic. You should of seen everyone else! We eat in groups btw sharing one plate for each group, it was like a free for all, punches flying, kids screaming, blood everywhere, made it all the more worthwhile. But what we had to break our fast wasn't that great..just some dodgy ass plate of mixed COLD pasta and warm rice..oh and some yellow gloop like stuff on a plate that we ate with our fingers that kinda tasted like custard...who knows, thank god it was dark. Not that I'm complaining :) It's actually a very educational experience, I'm sorta enjoying my time here (shush! don't tell my rents or they'll make me stay longer!) and my Arabic has completely skyrocketed, I am now at the level where I can use sarcasm, it's always fun, no matter the language.

Sides that not much else is up hey, oh! except the weather, remember last post how I was bitchin'? Well it got worse. I went into the toilet to WASH MY HANDS and then i hear rain, and then i'm like well %^#* that. It gets louder...and then I hear thunder....and then the rain gets much too heavy to be rain, I look outside and the water level is past my ankles AND its hailing, not that weak ass shit Perth does once in a blue moon, I'm talking, cross the line fool and you've got a concussion kind of hail. Mind you, it was just a bit overcast when I walked in. Stuff this shit.

Sides that life is good. I shall keep ya'll updated in the goings of the hood.

Later

Can't think of anything clever or witty hahha too bad, you lose.

\Well i'm in a ranting mood today, so let's rant..Things that are pissing me off as of late..

1.ELECTRICTY: ZOMG! Seriously, I haven't been this annoyed since Harry Potter And The Goblet Of Fire came out. What the shit. The electricty goes out maybe twice a day on average for an hour or so...when i'm at home. But for some reason, when ever I sit on a friggin computer at an internet cafe it goes out like once every.friggin.20.minutes! And then they put the motor on, so the comp turns back on, the motor stutters after 10 minutes so it shuts down AGAIN, and then the electricity comes back so i start AGAIN and then the electricity falters and then I have to start AGAIN, and then the motor AGAIN and then the DAMNED ELECTRICITY! You can't blame me for going slightly insane, it really can drive a person nuts.

2. WEATHER: Not as annoying as electricity, but pretty damn close. Let's say...as annoying as the time youtube discovered Justin Beiber. Anyway, Sana'a iiiiis approx. 6000 ft. above sea level making it one of the highest cities in the world, coupled with the face that its wedged between a shit load of mountains, that does some freaky shit to the weather. I wake up in the morn, look out the window and it's a beautiful sunny day so I put on a tee and some loose pants, and then I walk downstairs, seriously, in the time it takes me to get down 3 flights of stairs + changing it turns into like a full thunder and hail type storm -.- It's pretty much like that everyday, so you have to wear like 2 extra layers JUST in case, gets mighty annoying.

hmmm yeah, that's it for the ranting.

OOH, i'm teaching an Indonesian friend of mine English, seriously the most fun i've had in aaaaaaaaages. I've managed to turn him into the most black asian ever, at first it was accidental, i was just messing around so I was like "whats up in the heezy my nigger" when I saw him, so he comes up to me later and says the same thing back to me, serious ROFL moment there, it's funnier coz he doesn't know what it means. So from then on, I only taught him slang, just for my amusement  It's fun seeing the faces on other English speaking people.

Anyway, Rammadhan is starting as of tommorow here in Yemen land! Time to get my fast on! So far i've de-activated fb for a while, i've decided to cut on the music...and yeah that's about it. Oh and I plan to read say..half the quran in the month, maybe more, depends on...everything :)
Well at least alll you fuckers will be getting up at 3 am now, but you still get to sleep after...bah.

note to self: cut back on the cussing.

catchaz

hehe, twilight jizz FTW

Poor bastard:
I was walking down the road the other day, and I was walking past this butcher shop. They got these little cage things out front where they keep all the goats and stuff. I noticed this little black goat, all by himself with a terrified look in it's eyes, it's been sitting there all morning, watching it's friends get hacked to bits, poor bastard. And to make things worse, he looks up at me with his teriffied goat eyes and gave out this weak little "baah", poor guy. So my inherited genes (from my dads side) to be annoying and mischievous kicked in, so I went up to him and whispered "you're next", I swear it's as if he understood, he gave another, louder "baah", so I looked him in the eye, and looked at the butcher and asked "how much".

anyway, school is going ok, kinda boring, but kinda ok. I still have to get up at 3 a.m and eat beans but I never mentioned one other thing that REALLY annoys the "shit" out of me...check out the image. I HATE squating, sure it's good for my leg muscles, but it's terribly uncomfortable. Plus the whole no flush thing is disgusting. These types of toilets are ok in asian countries, coz asians are some meticulous people, they keep "shit" clean (hehehe) but Yemeni's are a whole diffrent thing. They clean their toilets once or twice a year, and all that brown stuff around the ceramic and on the floor is mighty questionable.

Well I WAS going to upload a picture of my favourite video store guy but circumstances have denied me the opportunity so instead I'll give you guys a looksy next post :) Instead I'll leave a nice little poem titled "So much better then the whole serious slit your wrists bullshit"

You are the brightest of all my desires
and the darkest of all my fears
you're like a heroin addiction that I need to feed
even if I refuse to listen to what my head heeds.
I'm affraid to shed a tear
in case you don't understand how I feel
for that's exactly what initiates my fear
and that a broken heart is difficult to heal

And if that makes me a coward
then so be it
I shall never move forward
for I have nothing else to live toward
so I would end my life with this here household cleaning kit
and feel my heart have a retarted pumping fit
I'd say, goodbye my love,good bye my friend
This is truly the end
As I fall to the ground, my head would take a massive hit
and i'd take my dying breath, as I leaked my last massive shit.

Bitchtastic

But my dreams are vivid.

 rambling is what I do best:

So..i've been pretty upset at the latest revelation from my government owned boarding school, apparently I can't leave until I finish the entire quran or else my old quran teacher gets his ass arrested...Hence, terrible mood yesterday since I can't really go anywhere else. I've talked to my rents about it and if I can finish 1/3 to 1/2 by the end of the year then we're going to stick with our original plans and be back by January. We're going to pretend I got my Leg crushed in some freak motorbike accident and need emergency reconstructive surgery back in Aus. I love my mother.

Anyways, I haven't told you guys about my favourite uncle, with a slight tendency to be slightly insane. Got your attention? good. He's been eating Qat (like tobacco only green!) for bout 30 years now, he's reached the point where it starts to affect his brain about 5 years ago when I was in Somalia. Now he's one crazy motherfucker, we had to chain his ass to the garage, poor guy. Here's some random shit he's done:

1. Pee in the water tank. (The apartment building we lived in back in Taiz had one big water tank that all the residents share)
2. Beat up little kids repeatedly (pretty much all the time)
3. Oh, one time he was worse then usual, we had to lock him in his room coz he was scaring the shit out of the little ones because he said he was seeing Jins (or evil spirits or w/e) and that he had 2 of them as wives -.-

 
That's a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?

 

Anyway, wish me luck in coming back asap. That's all for now.