My Ideal Girl

I'm only gonna break break your heart

Hey guys, as promised 20th post shall be *drumroll* My ideal girl. Mhm, a coveted piece of information right there.

Now to start off I just want you to know that my life shall forever be a disappointment, I have insane expectations for my "ideal girl" and I never expect anyone to fulfil them 100% Ergo, i shall never be happy in life and shall jump from girl to girl till I find someone at at least 90% Sometimes you have to settle for less :( So take the picture as a warning.

Well first impressions is as good a place as any to start off. First impressions for me are a major deciding factor. And if you fucked up the first time, chances are you blew it for life. Some people i've met in my life have pulled off the most incredible first impressions, I swear it's like love at first sight...at first sight alright, after I usually find some flaw like a third nipple or something. But one thing I really enjoy is not talking to someone for years and giving them a second first impression, some people really do change, sometimes for better :)

We all know that looks is a major deciding factor, yeah what ever keep denying it, consciously or not that's the MAIN marker when you see someone of the opposite sex. You can't have a meaningful relationship if you don't find the other person physically attractive. So obviously I have....ok I don't like how I'm writing this and I really can't be bothered re-writing so i shall just add it on. My new idea is to write a list of things, with some notes on each point. Get It? Got it? GOOD


Da Physical:

1. In terms of ethnicity, I honestly couldn't care less but if I had to choose ONE to top the list it'd def be mixed races, nothing hotter then a EskiCan (Eskimo+Mexican)..well not really but you get the point. African girls are probably what you'd all be most expecting but you know what, I think I might have a slight bias against them, it's just the way I've been raised, my parents expect a Somali girl so knowing me, I have to FIGHT back! (H) Sides that, I really couldn't care less, sure every race has their perks but it's all pretty much evened out :)

2. Hair, mmm that's a good one, hairs a pretty big thing for me. It depends on the girl but in general terms I seem to be attracted to medium length hair or just "reasonably" short. As for the hair colour staples, brunettes for sure. But i'd rather someone with non-staple hair colour, always hot, or at least someone who mixes it up every once in a while :)

3. Eyes, generally I'm attracted to girls with grey, green and light brown eyes.If you have some freaky shit going on like multicoloured eyes (diffrent colour for each eye) or just enjoy wearing contacts on occasion then you're guaranteed to have my approval. And there's nothing hotter then an ethnic girl with coloured eyes *drools*

4. Has to be physically fit, into sports and such. I need someone in my life I can do physical stuff with like running on a cold morning or shooting some hoops. There's nothing sadder then a girl with no coordination.

5. Physically fit doesn't mean she has to be "skinny", a healthy weight is good, skinny girls are just a turn off -.-

5. Piercings, omgaaash, I almost forgot this one. I'm a sucker for a girl with any kind of peircing minus nose and earlobe..nose just looks hoish and kinda hindi to me..and earlobeee.....yeah. My favourites are tounge, lip, that spot just under the bottom lip and upper ear parts.

I'm kind of running out of stuff right now :/ I'm sure it'll come back to me later. But it's always the little things that get me though. Every girl is unique in her own way, just just keep things fresh and you just might catch my eye :)


Da-Da Personality/Style:

1. I'm a sucker for the "bad girl" persona, utterly and truly. By bad girl I mean that in the literal sense, not your typical "good" girl. Does stuff that some people may consider illegal or imorral..just generally a bad influence, they're the best types of girls. Want an example? 13 from House can work it like no other. The bi-sexuality thing is intresting, I mean I wouldn't want a threesome or anything but I find it attractive somehow. Also I don't like the "smoking" thing but I kind of like the hint of the aftertaste, kinda hot. OH btw, theres a diffrent between "bad" and slutty.

my baby <3

2. I absolutely HATE SHY GIRLS WITH A PASSION. End of story.

3. You know the bad girl thing pretty much summed it up hahah, confident, not shy etc. etc. Sides that don't really care if she's funny, caring, compassionate etc. that's just a random grouping of words that hold no meaning in real life.

4. Some guys hate the girls making the first move :/ I don't get it, I kind of like it. It shows that they're confident in themselves, def. a good thing!

Ok thats it :) This wasn't as detailed as I was hoping but it does provide a general overview I guess :) So why don't you all leave a comment and tell me what you think...and maybe some numbers ;) hahah

NOTE: All above notes on my "ideal" girl are strictly bendable. So don't think you're not good enough for me, chances are you are, give it a shot ;) hahah but again, refer to the first picture.

Olivia Wilde <3

Ma-ma-ma night yo

Yo yo, so I ended having 2 half decent nights in a row (minus the jerking issue of last night). So I shall tell you about it :)

Last night: Well not really that intresting but I enjoyed it hey. Just walking around my neighbourhood in search of the sixth season of my favourite tv show..house! So I mostly walked for about 2 hours peeking in stores and asking around, and finally success! I found the COMPLETE sixth season at some random store, the only thing is they wanted me to come back the next day for it, thats perfectly fine considering how much it cost..1000 rials :D:D:D:D Which is roughly $5. I love Yemen for that. So as I was walking around I had like 4 mountain dews and as you know I get high as shit of that stuff, so I'm walking around singing Lily Allen songs:

Oh, he treats me with respect, he says he loves me all the time
He calls me fifteen times a day, he likes to make sure that I'm fine
You know I've never met a man who's made me feel quite so secure
He's not like all them other boys, they're all so dumb and immature
There's just one thing that's getting in the way
When we go up to bed, you're just no good, it's such a shame
I look into your eyes, I want to get to know you
And then you make this noise and it's apparent it's all over

It's not fair and I think you're really mean
I think you're really mean, I think you're really mean
Oh, you're suppose to care
But you never make me scream, you never make me scream

Great stuff! I absolutely adore Lily Allen <3

Tonight: I wasn't really planning anything special tonight so I only took like 5000 rials with me which is like $25. I was planning to go pick up my House DVD's and then maybe walk around and get a drink. So after I picked up my DVD's I ducked into a small internet cafe to check what movies they had in there, and of all things they had Step Up 3D! Just that alone would of made my entire week. It was in really good quality too except it wasn't centred so the top was chopped off, but honestly I'd rather that then some really shitty quality version. I'll go back some other time to watch it :) After that I decided to go check out Tahreer square (some random square for street shopping), so I hopped on a bus...the fact that it was empty should of told me something but knowing stupid old me I hopped on anyway...took me about half way and then he changes his damn destination so I had to get off in the middle of bloody nowhere. I walked around aimlessly for about 30 minutes. I found a really cool bookstore with heaps of classic books by Shakespeare, Jane Austen, Bronte, Dickens etc. Didn't buy any but its good for future reference. I DID buy a really awesome dictionary though, English-Arabic + Arabic-English, illustrations and everything and not 5 Kg either for a fantastically low price of 700 rials :) Not even $5 After that I walked around, bought a shawl and then took a motorbike back home. I absolutely love travelling by motorbike, it's hard to describe the feeling but just the cold night wind in your face, the speed, the fast turns, weeving through traffic at crazy speeds, barely dodging cars, the adrenaline rush is fantastic, adore it...but the thing is you have to choose your motorbike carefully here. I have developed a list of a few things to look out for:

1. If you see the bike in motion, check out how fast he's driving, if he zooms past and it takes him 200 m to stop for you...don't hop on nigga, he's a crazy fucker and will probably get your ass turned into roadkill. Decent speeds only!

2. Listen to the sound of the engine and check out the condition of the bike. If it sounds more like a car then a bike...yeah not a good idea. You never know, engine could blow up at any moment. Choose one with a nice mellow sounding engine. Also the condition that some of these bikes are in -.- WOW hahaha my favourite one was the one held together by sticky tape. You think I'm kidding? nope. Literally held together by sticky tape, mirrors, the gauges and everything all held by sticky tape, there was more sticky tape then metal on the damn thing.

3. Always check out the actual driver mayn, that's the main thing hey. Age range is around 10-90. Yep. Obviously, don't pick a kid...because duh! they're kids, they can barely put their hands around the handle bars -.- Don't pick any young 18-25 looking guy, they're the most fucking crazy ass motherfuckers out there, the WORST one I picked looked around 18, that was a seriously scary experience, as soon as I hop on and he takes off I almost fall off the damn thing, going like 80 km/h on a bloody tiny road, 300 m down the road a car pulls up in front out of nowhere and he does a full tyre squeeling, back tyre swinging everywhere stop. DAYUM, is all I have to say, that was fucking fun! But scary as hell, not worth trying..anyway I survived an I learnt from my experience :)

I really have to learn how to ride a damn motorbike, you can rent them here for like $10 a day, heck fun.

That was it for my night...so far :) I'm going to go home soon and pull an all nighter with my HOUSE DVD'S! hahha gonna be FUN!

OH OH OH! I almost forgot! I found the most fucking incredible coffee place! I've seen it before but it was closed and I could never find my way back :/ It was one of those tiny cube type coffee shops on the side of the road, first decent one I've found in yemen, and they made REAL FUCKING COFFEE, not of that crappy stove boiled shit they sell around here. I had a latte :) Kinda pricy but hell worth it. I'm going to start going there much much more often.

So that's if for real this time. Cyaz laduh

my baby <3

Oh hi! I'm a Yemeni! And I have a tiny penis!

Ok this post was supposed to be a happy one telling you about my awesome mood and my above average night...and some motherfucker goes and fucking ruins it! FUCK! I'm fucking disgusted as shit, i'm close to tears I swear, I want to punch this fucker in the face for ruining my fucking high. SHIT! motherfucker! Ok Ahmed...relax..breathe...UGH! I can't stop clenching my jaw, fuck this shit!

Ok ok...I'll tell you what happened. Well I sat down at this computer, and then this..."person" if you can call the motherfucker that sat down on the computer to my right. Here you can see pretty easily what everyone else is doing on the comp, so I notice he's watching something...I look closer and it's porn..I got over it, to each their own, what ever, I get it. But in a public place? hmmm not so cool but I chose to forget about it. After a while I notice he's doing something with his hand, I look and you will not believe what I saw...it's like one of those moments you see something so absolutely implausible you just sit there and go "no.." even though it's so blatantly obvious that what you're seeing is what it is. And you probably guessed by now, yep...he was masturbating....I was in shock for maybe a full minute, just sitting there staring at his hand on his penis. Wow....just wow. And then just pure rage, bang just like that I want to rip off his penis and beat him to death with it, all 6 cm of it. WHO THE FUCK JERKS OFF IN A FUCKING PUBLIC PLACE! WHAT THE FUCKING SHIT! AAAAAAAAAARGH! And then you know what he fucking does after a few minutes? He gets out a tissue, and I'm like whats that for in my head...and then...yeah. I almost snapped then. I wanted to get up and beat his fucking head against the table and then shove my can of mountain dew down his throat...but that would be a waste of Dew so I didn't. Soon as he's done he gets up and walks out. Most fucking enraging 5 minutes of my time in Yemen. I still can't believe that happened...This is going to haunt me for a long loooooooooong time.

Maaaaan! And I really wanted a nice happy, mellow post :( Maybe tommorow when I've calmed down a tad. I'm out for now, catchaz

Impossible Is Nothing

6 reasons why I think I'm Bi

One more post before the night is out :)

Well first things first, I'm in an EXTREME maniac mode, like I'm fucking high as a kite at the mo, now I remember why I cut back on the mountain dew. No drugs I swear! But I think I may be Bi-Polar. It kind of came up when I read that Russel Brand was Bi-Polar so I did some research...only to scare the crap out of myself...(for refrences as to what the shit i'm on about check out http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bipolar_disorder let's take some key points and cross refrence to myself:

1. Signs and symptoms of the depressive phase of bipolar disorder include persistent feelings of sadness, anxiety, guilt, anger, isolation, or hopelessness; disturbances in sleep and appetite; fatigue and loss of interest in usually enjoyable activities; problems concentrating; loneliness, self-loathing, apathy or indifference; depersonalization; loss of interest in sexual activity; shyness or social anxiety; irritability, chronic pain (with or without a known cause); lack of motivation; and morbid suicidal idealization. Well yeah, i shall tick...anxiety,guilt, anger is a major tick, isolation another major tick same for hoplessness sleep and apetite disturbances, fatigue big time, yeah generally just ticks for everything really, some of that stuff is spot on. Well cept the suicidal bit, I've thought about HOW I would want to die..if I died, no plans to carry it out though :/ I'm much too awesome for that, dontcha agree?

2 .Mania is the signature characteristic of bipolar disorder and, depending on its severity, is how the disorder is classified. Mania is generally characterized by a distinct period of an elevated, expansive, or irritable mood state. People commonly experience an increase in energy and a decreased need for sleep. A person's speech may be pressured, with thoughts experienced as racing. Attention span is low, and a person in a manic state may be easily distracted. Judgment may become impaired, and sufferers may go on spending sprees or engage in behavior that is quite abnormal for them. They may indulge in substance abuse, particularly alcohol or other depressants, cocaine or other stimulants, or sleeping pills. Their behavior may become aggressive, intolerant, or intrusive. People may feel out of control or unstoppable. People may feel they have been "chosen" and are "on a special mission" or have other grandiose or delusional ideas. Sexual drive may increase. At more extreme phases of bipolar I, a person in a manic state can begin to experience psychosis, or a break with reality, where thinking is affected along with mood. Many people in a manic state experience severe anxiety and are very irritable (to the point of rage), while others are euphoric and grandiose. I had to copy paste that entire paragraph, that shit is sooooooooooooooooooooooooo incredibly spot on it's not even funny, first time I read this I almost wet myself.

3. Hypomania is generally a mild to moderate level of mania, characterized by optimism, pressure of speech and activity, and decreased need for sleep. Generally, hypomania does not inhibit functioning like mania. Many people with hypomania are actually in fact more productive than usual. Some people have increased creativity while others demonstrate poor judgment and irritability. Many people experience signature hypersexuality. These persons generally have increased energy and tend to become more active than usual. They do not, however, have delusions or hallucinations. Hypomania can be difficult to diagnose because it may masquerade as mere happiness, though it carries the same risks as mania. I liked this one, that was pretty accurate too, its like the mania but I can think clearer, its usually when I write my best stuff when I'm in one of these moods. Hyper sexuality hahahah! You should read what I write, half my shit is porn type shit. When I was in Perth I'd put on my shortest shorts and my smallest singlet and just run at like 3 a.m, and feel the cold wind on my skin, i'd just run and run for ages, waay too much pent up energy. Decreased need for sleep? I decided like 3 hours ago that I was going to pull an all nighter...just for the sake of pulling an all nighter really.

4. Bipolar disorder has been associated with people involved in the arts but it is an ongoing question as to whether many creative geniuses had bipolar disorder. I've been called creative many times but genius? *blushes* hahaha

5. A series of authors have described mania or hypomania as being related to a high motivation to achieve, ambitious goal-setting, and sometimes high achievement. yeah...well that one doesn't need an explanation if you've been reading my blog.

6. I read somewhere that it may be aggravated by caffeine...yeah well I cut back on the Dew for a reason -.-

So that's 6 reasons why I think I'm bipolar...whatcha'll think? leave a comment!

Also, I watched some clips off of Step Up 3D, looks bloody awesome, that robot guy http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8VTW1iUn3Bg is bloody awesome, doesn't help my mood right now, been doing that shoulder roll thing for hours.

Oh and I watched Salt too! Now that was bloody awesome! 10/10 bloody fantastic. I literally laughed out loud when the Russians had straight vodka, racial stereotypes are always fun :D Also the plot..wow..so many twists :S anyway, must watch.

That's two long posts in a row! If my posts are getting a bit too long and boring..live with it fuckhead.

Cheerio love *British accent*

Christmas dinner with Moses

hey hey!

I'm in a pretty good mood the last couple of days, might have something to do with the fact that I'm FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Right...yeah well I got the next 15 days of Ramadan + 10 days for Eid off :) So that kind of helps with my good mood thing.

Anyway, i've had a lot of time to think lately...too much actually. And yeah it's me so I always come up with some fucked up shit. Top thoughts of the week:

1. Most annoying word in the Australian vocab. "Rumpus" as in rumpus room. What the shit, can you get any more annoying? Is rumpus even a real word?! Maybe some guy with a heavy British accent said to his Aussie mate, " Mate, I'm getting a RHOMBUS games room built into my house",to which the Aussie dude replied, "RUMPUS, got it!" and thus spread the word since Aussies seem to have a love for all things British -.-

2. If you were having sex with a deaf girl...could you call your mates while shes not looking? "Mate, guess what I'm doing, listen!"

3. *standing on top of a 3 story building* I can survive that...fuck me if I ever take anything to alter my better judgment, I'd jump this shit for sure. Note to self, never stand more then 5 metres off the ground with anything more then sugar rush.

Yeah that's the ones I remember, I never remember to write down those amazingly detailed daydreams I have, oh the variety, everything from the awkward Christmas dinner with Moses to a fight between Bert and Ernie.

Oh I have another poem for y'all :) Lil steamy and not my usual style but heck, I liked it so its all good!

Your perfectly delicious white flesh
can send brainwaves into a mesh
your subtle sweetness nothing can compare
or your irresistible smoothness there is no pair.
I have you night and day,
stroke your side as you lay.
You are always incredibly satisfying
That you are the sex..there is no denying
I've heard that you've left lesser men crying.
I want to fold back your skin
and commit an evil sin
by eating you out till you're noting more than skin
If that leaves me without you and alone
so be it!
I'll just go replace you with a better fit
from the corner store
you banana whore!

Gotcha hahahaha. Ok I admit, the ending wasn't as top notched as I wanted but that was the best I could come up with!

OH THE JOY! After complaining for months about how poor I am I FINALLY get some money, in the form of Eid/clothing money...clothes in Yemen...yeah. I have no idea what I'm gonna do there, I'm thinking of pulling an Ahmed on some Yemeni style clothing, black juba (dress type thing), black jacket, black head wrap thing hahaha yep, classic Ahmed. Might even chuck in some eyeliner for effect, expect some pictures! Unless you all have some better ideas? leave a comment!! Also, I receive $299 in m damn tax return, oh how I would go to town with that sorta money! I can see it now! Sheesha, Qat, prostitutes (not really) and fast cars (more like taxis -.-) It's going to be a GREAT Eid!

On other news, my mum sent some stuff over with some Aussie lady who was headed to Yemen. My brother and cousin both got phones...I got a packet of Tim-Tams. Not a bad trade off actually. The lady also brought over a bit of news, she told the kids thaaat my mum would be heading back a few days after Eid, so a couple of weeks, and the kids would be going back with her almost straight away depending on how much progress they've made learning the quran. OUT WITH THE WHIPS! It's good for me because the main reason my mum wanted me to stay back until July was because she wanted the kids and me to go back together but she wanted them to learn a bit more first..if she deems them ready, I'm heading back SOON :) Oh the joy, but until then, i'll be working these kids like dogs! MUAHAHAHAHA

Aiight that's it for now, stay tuned folks Leave a comment!

Hoes and Europe go together like Bert and Ernie

Just something thats been bugging me for ages...My parents are always giving me shit for not getting married young -.- I mean, everyone in somali and yemen and shit get married when they're like 15 and stuff, my dad was the exception, he got married at 24ish. They've been begging me to get married and i've thought about it...

Pros: I have a fear of ageing, I want to be YOUNG when I have my kids so I can do stuff like play basketball with my 20 year old son etc. Yeah I think that's the only pro I can think of right now...

Cons: People who get married young tend to have a higher chance of getting divorced. I have a fear that I will hate my wife after a certain time period and serve life in jail for smashing her head open with a frying pan. I want to sleep my way across Europe...can't do that with a wife and kids. I'm plannning to be in uni for quite a while...gonna be difficult paying for shit when all I can afford is a part time job :/

So I think the Cons win this round. It's settled, I shall not get married till i'm 45!....or 30.

yeah thats it for now.

My shitty week revised

I'm not really in a blogging mood today but I had an irresistible urge to tell you how shitty my weeks been thus far:

1. Well not to beat around the bush but I have had my manhood violated. It's expected from an all boy's YEMENI boarding school but I never expected it to happen to me, probably the biggest mofo in the damn place. Sneaky buggers. Well I was in a crowd around the water fountain one night and as I was bending down to drink some water when some *i'm trying not to swear since i'm fasting...so let your imagination roam free* GROPED me, I was split between punching randoms in the face or just screaming at the top of my lungs like a little girl. A deeply disturbing experience.

2. Well I was complaining about lack of sleep BEFORE Ramadan, well now it's just bloody ridiculous. We go to bed at ELEVEN pm and get up at 2:30-2:45 in the AM. Yeah that's bad enough, but when it's 4 am and you're trying not to fall asleep, that's when it gets tricky. Couple of days ago, i closed my eyes for 2 seconds and some *more swearing* kicks me, literally kicks me in the damn shin, *more swearing*. WOOW was I pissed off. YESTERDAY, I had my head down just thinking, not even remotely close to falling asleep when some *you can guess by now* grabs me by the ankles and pulls me for a couple of metres thinking I was asleep. I was wearing a skirt type thing (ma'was) and it like run up my legs and about half the damn mosque saw me knickers. I look up at the motherfucker (fuck it), and it's the IMAM of the mosque, and one of the owners of the school. Nigger if you weren't in a mosque I would DROP your ass.

Yeah the rest of the stuff is just bitching and moaning, mostly my mum not talking to me *slits wrists* and my whole family hating on me *jumps off cliffs*

sides that, life is merry and full of joy :)

peace

well dayum lupe.

Ok the main purpose of this post is to tell you all about the most amazing dream I had 2 nights ago, it was really really short but it makes me wonder what the HELL it's supposed to mean..

It was My buddy Zackaria Mukhtar walking with Lupe Fiasco, well it was mostly about Lupe since he was in colour and everything else was in black and white. I get why Zack was there, he loves Lupe. Anyway, Lupe was wearing a canvas shirt, one of those winter puffy plastic vests things in purple, a wooly hat with those flappy ear thingies and some black airforces. Well Lupe was talking to zack, as they walked across a mixed basketball/netball complex and theres people shooting hoops in the background. So Lupe's walking with zack and the convo goes like this:

Zack: So Lupe, how do you maintain your vigorous swagger?
Lupe: If you rap like B.O.B you get cheap hoes jumping on your C.O.C
K, but if you rap like me, you attract more expensive shit. Hence improving my image and keeping my motherfucking swagger lit. *sticks lolly pop in mouth*

Lupe walks across the basketball court leaving Zack behind with a look close to worship on his face. He grabs a random netball and chucks it across the court into a basketball hoop. "If you play netball, try basketball..it's the same, cept basket ballers aren't *something like "weaklings"*


Well ain't that a damn random dream if I ever had one.

Note: All views posted in this dream have no direct link to the conscious psyche of the writer.

Who the hell suggests sodomy as a correction fo sodoku?

I'm in one of those odd moods today. I don't know what it is but you're just like "fuck this shit" you know. You don't care what happens, you do whatever you want and you crave the punishment you might get as a means of distraction from other things. You want something to distract you so as not to think of other things that may have pissed/annoyed/bothered you. That's the problem, nothings really bothering me at the moment. I'm just in that mood for some odd reason. So far i've wagged another morning class at school and I'm going to head back at around midday, hoping they make me clean something. Yep, I know. Somethings up with my subconscious, it's having its own issues that I am unaware of.

Last night I had a dream..well not a dream but one of those things you think about just before you fall aslep and it kinda morphs and turns unreal you know. Wait one quick thing, my mum practically begged me to stay till July next year a few weeks ago, and I managed to convince her that I would be able to memorize half the quran by then and in that case I may be allowed to go. Well that's not going to happen. My thought/dream type thing was about the confrontation and the argument. I know my mother incredibly well, I know her thought processes and her reactions to certain things, so the first thing I did is walk her to her room and lock the door behind me and take out the key, because I knew she was going to run the second she was losing this argument. The whole thing was extremely detailed with multiple scenarios, the coolest one was definately where she absolutely refused all negoatiations so I threaten to move out so she kicks me out. I have to break into her safe box and take my passport and then pack a few things. I then go on to work as an English teacher in some upper echelon learning institute where they pay me $500 per month. I spend my nights sleeping in a mosque, I then work part time as a gigolo, selling my self to rich widows (that's a recurring dream) to make some money. I finally save up enough after a few months hop on a plane to Perth, live in a park sleeping on benches and dumpster diving for food until I get a decent job and start uni. That's as far as I got till it got too weird...something about purple dinosaurs on weed.

Anyway, I got school today, if I don't get my ass in trouble then I hope to use sodoku as a distraction. I've developed an addiction to that game, i bought 2 books each of diffrent level, 1 and 2. Level one is waay to easy...and 2 is just waaaay too hard. Stupid Yemeni's.

Yeah that's it for now. Catchaz laduh

10 posts! I'm on a roll

Well what do you know, this is my 10th post! So I thought i'd change the tone a little into something more serious. My dreams and aspirations. I want to be able to look back on this one day and say, well shit dude, you did well in life. So I shall compile a short list.


1. Right now, I haven't wanted anything so bad. I want to become a doctor. Yeah I know, this ones kinda common but not just those boring office type GP's who give kids lollies and check out people for herpes. I want to be amazing, I want to be great, I want to be inspiring. I've played around with the thought of what kinda doctor would be most fun and I've decided that my dream job would be a "Trauma Surgeon" or just a trauma doc. No thanks to Dr. Hunt btw (Grey's anatomy ref.). I reckon that would be my kind of calling, no formal hours, no "typical" day, you never know what to expect. On top of that I want to spend say maybe 3-4 years with a foundation like Médecins Sans Frontières. Ever since I met this incredible french guy who sat next to me on my flight back from Yemen last year, he worked for them for like 7 years, just the way he described it! Travelling all over the world, giving aid to victims of war and natural disaster, travelling to places like Chad, Kyrgyzstan, Pakistan, Liberia and the likes. It's really something. Another part of this is that I also want to become a teacher, that's been a big dream too. So if it all works out somehow I want to go work in a teaching hospital or something and just teach.

2. At some point in my life, I want to memorize the entire quran. I could do it now if I wanted to, I mean..i've already started and all but I left too much unfinished business behind like university and certain other details. I want to clear up 2 years and just head out and memorize it. There's so many benefits and I hope to one day achieve that.

3. I want to write a book, that's always been a long standing dream, I don't really care what type of book, novel, biography, poetry. ANYTHING! As for reasoning, I don't really have one. It's just one of those things that you want to do because you do. Can you blame me?

4. I want to be able to speak at LEAST 5 languages by the time i'm...say 30. So far i've got down Somali and English, another couple of months and i'll have Arabic down too. So that leaves two. I've always wanted to learn French and one Asian language, maybe Mandarin or Cantonese or Japanese or Indonesian.

5. I want to open either a school or a hospital/medical clinic at some point in my life. In some non-modern country. Doesn't matter if I work there or not, so long as it exists. As for reasoning, I like to see my accomplishments in the physical form.

6. I want to finish a mechanics course. I don't want to WORK as a mechanic, just have the knowledge to fix and build cars from scratch. I also want to build a car from scratch. That would be truly incredible. 

7. I want to work as a chef through uni and such, I've always loved cooking and it would be a great way to make money. 

Yeah that's it for now. There's others BUT these are the main ones :)
Like I said, I wish to be successful in my life, and thats how I think I'd be happy with life. I mean sure, some things might come up that I never dreamed of, but you just got to take it in your stride, keep your chin up, and walk tall.

 

Late Night Scrawlings Of A Web Addict

Howdy.

It's a late night here, It's my day off so I decided to be a bad boy and go out :) Sides, rents are in Aus, what's the worst that could happen sides getting detained by racist cops and being tortured and forced to reveal the whereabouts of the bomb I planted -.- I have an active imagination sometimes. Anyway, it's a fairly interesting night, I'm considering selling my self as a prostitute to lonely, rich widows who need comforting at night for lack of something better to do, plus I need the money, my heroine stash is getting mighty low. Yep. I can read your mind. And the answer is Yes...I have lost my mind. I lose my mind often...whenever I wanna get LOOSE. *yawn* I get odd when it's late. Get use to it, you'll probably enjoy it more.

Anyway, I just finished watching an AWESOME movie called "Youth In Revolt" starring Michael Cera. Now then, it's pretty much a summer romance type story, the guy is the shy nerdy type and the girl is the hot EVIL kind :D At the end of the summer/holiday he has to move away so the girl plants an evil plot to get his divorced father to get a job in her town and for him to get kicked out of his mothers house by "being a bad boy" ohhh the treachery of women. I love it. He ends up getting his ass arrested but it was well worth the fun along the way. Great movie. One scene where he's trying to get into her bed after he sneaks into her boarding school, my GOODNESS, even I was in shock..Oh I forgot to mention he develops an alter ego that does all the bad stuff so yeah the alter ego starts sweet talking her and my oh my, even I was blushing, here's how it went:

Nick: Umm the floor's cold, do you think I could cuddle next to you?
Sheeni: The whole night?
Nick: yeah
Sheeni: Yeah, I guess it'd be ok.
Nicks alter ego François: Or we could do more then just cuddle
Sheeni: Nick!
François: Ooh I love when you say my name (in a seductive voice). Why don't you pull down those blankets and show me what you're hiding under there.
Sheeni: Is that what you want me to do?
Nick (to François): say yes (in a pleading tone)
François: That is exactly what I want you to do. And then I want to tickle your belly button...from the inside (takes drag from cigarette)
Sheeni: Nick you're being so bad!
François: Not half as bad as the nasty things I want to do to you right now with my tounge. I'm gonna wrap your legs around my head and wear you like the crown that you are.
Nick: If that's ok with you...

Man oh man, now THAT was pretty smooth. Oh btw nothing happens haha the french principal/nanny type thing busts in. But it was still a sweet lead up. I've added a link to the trailer at the end. Def. worth checking out.

For those of you who have not noticed...I have de-activated my fb. I know, I know, you bitches be missing me. Tough luck mate. As for reasons for de-activating...I have compiled a list below:

1. I'm sick of all you bitches telling about how you had a cheeseburger, or you're damn toaster broke or you went to go pee or you took a damn breath. Get over yourself faggot maggot.

2. There wasn't really a number 2.

3. I wanted to see if I could actually last a month without facebook. It's been hard. I open firefox (explorer is for wimps and momma's boys) and my fingers already type in facebook.com and i'm staring at the damn log in page. I'm proud to say i've lasted 4-5 days....just another 25-26 days...no biggy :S


HMMM, what else is up..not much besides the fact that i'm developing a damn blogging addiction! At first it was like oooh blogging i'll try that! And then it was like...but I have nothing to write about...and now it's just like, DUDE! Shut up! Nobody cares about your damn squatting issues! So yeah let me know if I should cut back down on my ranting and what not. And then i'll probably tell you to go stick yourself in the ass with a can of second class pepsi, since you're not good enough for the good shit (anything from the coke company really).

That's it for tonight, I'll probz squeeze in one more post in the next 24 hours or so. Stay tuned folks.
and write a damn comment or some shit you lazy fuckers.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2SC7U8AcItE&feature=related
link to see the "youth in revolt" trailer. Ce'st magnifique non?

*Snoop Dog voice* Hello boys and girls!

Hello children! How are you all today? good, fantastic! Now shut up and read. *black dynamite face*

Dy-No-Mite, wicked as movie btw

Well it's that time of the year, you know what i'm talking 'bout baby. RAMMADHAN! So yeah, here we all are quitting the smokes, the music and all the bad habits and praying more often, ON TIME, and dusting off our Qurans. 'tis good in a way but bad in some, you know how we all become like super muslims for like ONE month and all, the purpose of this month was not temporary, it was to serve as motivation for THE ENTIRE YEAR. So give it a shot, be a super muslim a lil bit longer jah?

So what have I done? Well since i'm going to a boarding school for quran....there isn't that much diffrence, we still get up at 3 a.m and read quran all day long...BUT i'm trying to read the entire quran this month, sides that 'tis a fine month.

OH! Guess what I had to eat before fasting yesterday, EGGS! Fluffy, golden, delicious, scrambled, chicken fetuses! The way my face lit up when I saw that big bowl of eggs was like a kid in toys 'r' us with his daddies wallet. I've been living off of beans and rice for close to 2 months now and EGGS, I don't care how dodgy they looked was close to orgasmic. You should of seen everyone else! We eat in groups btw sharing one plate for each group, it was like a free for all, punches flying, kids screaming, blood everywhere, made it all the more worthwhile. But what we had to break our fast wasn't that great..just some dodgy ass plate of mixed COLD pasta and warm rice..oh and some yellow gloop like stuff on a plate that we ate with our fingers that kinda tasted like custard...who knows, thank god it was dark. Not that I'm complaining :) It's actually a very educational experience, I'm sorta enjoying my time here (shush! don't tell my rents or they'll make me stay longer!) and my Arabic has completely skyrocketed, I am now at the level where I can use sarcasm, it's always fun, no matter the language.

Sides that not much else is up hey, oh! except the weather, remember last post how I was bitchin'? Well it got worse. I went into the toilet to WASH MY HANDS and then i hear rain, and then i'm like well %^#* that. It gets louder...and then I hear thunder....and then the rain gets much too heavy to be rain, I look outside and the water level is past my ankles AND its hailing, not that weak ass shit Perth does once in a blue moon, I'm talking, cross the line fool and you've got a concussion kind of hail. Mind you, it was just a bit overcast when I walked in. Stuff this shit.

Sides that life is good. I shall keep ya'll updated in the goings of the hood.

Later

Can't think of anything clever or witty hahha too bad, you lose.

\Well i'm in a ranting mood today, so let's rant..Things that are pissing me off as of late..

1.ELECTRICTY: ZOMG! Seriously, I haven't been this annoyed since Harry Potter And The Goblet Of Fire came out. What the shit. The electricty goes out maybe twice a day on average for an hour or so...when i'm at home. But for some reason, when ever I sit on a friggin computer at an internet cafe it goes out like once every.friggin.20.minutes! And then they put the motor on, so the comp turns back on, the motor stutters after 10 minutes so it shuts down AGAIN, and then the electricity comes back so i start AGAIN and then the electricity falters and then I have to start AGAIN, and then the motor AGAIN and then the DAMNED ELECTRICITY! You can't blame me for going slightly insane, it really can drive a person nuts.

2. WEATHER: Not as annoying as electricity, but pretty damn close. Let's say...as annoying as the time youtube discovered Justin Beiber. Anyway, Sana'a iiiiis approx. 6000 ft. above sea level making it one of the highest cities in the world, coupled with the face that its wedged between a shit load of mountains, that does some freaky shit to the weather. I wake up in the morn, look out the window and it's a beautiful sunny day so I put on a tee and some loose pants, and then I walk downstairs, seriously, in the time it takes me to get down 3 flights of stairs + changing it turns into like a full thunder and hail type storm -.- It's pretty much like that everyday, so you have to wear like 2 extra layers JUST in case, gets mighty annoying.

hmmm yeah, that's it for the ranting.

OOH, i'm teaching an Indonesian friend of mine English, seriously the most fun i've had in aaaaaaaaages. I've managed to turn him into the most black asian ever, at first it was accidental, i was just messing around so I was like "whats up in the heezy my nigger" when I saw him, so he comes up to me later and says the same thing back to me, serious ROFL moment there, it's funnier coz he doesn't know what it means. So from then on, I only taught him slang, just for my amusement  It's fun seeing the faces on other English speaking people.

Anyway, Rammadhan is starting as of tommorow here in Yemen land! Time to get my fast on! So far i've de-activated fb for a while, i've decided to cut on the music...and yeah that's about it. Oh and I plan to read say..half the quran in the month, maybe more, depends on...everything :)
Well at least alll you fuckers will be getting up at 3 am now, but you still get to sleep after...bah.

note to self: cut back on the cussing.

catchaz

hehe, twilight jizz FTW

Poor bastard:
I was walking down the road the other day, and I was walking past this butcher shop. They got these little cage things out front where they keep all the goats and stuff. I noticed this little black goat, all by himself with a terrified look in it's eyes, it's been sitting there all morning, watching it's friends get hacked to bits, poor bastard. And to make things worse, he looks up at me with his teriffied goat eyes and gave out this weak little "baah", poor guy. So my inherited genes (from my dads side) to be annoying and mischievous kicked in, so I went up to him and whispered "you're next", I swear it's as if he understood, he gave another, louder "baah", so I looked him in the eye, and looked at the butcher and asked "how much".

anyway, school is going ok, kinda boring, but kinda ok. I still have to get up at 3 a.m and eat beans but I never mentioned one other thing that REALLY annoys the "shit" out of me...check out the image. I HATE squating, sure it's good for my leg muscles, but it's terribly uncomfortable. Plus the whole no flush thing is disgusting. These types of toilets are ok in asian countries, coz asians are some meticulous people, they keep "shit" clean (hehehe) but Yemeni's are a whole diffrent thing. They clean their toilets once or twice a year, and all that brown stuff around the ceramic and on the floor is mighty questionable.

Well I WAS going to upload a picture of my favourite video store guy but circumstances have denied me the opportunity so instead I'll give you guys a looksy next post :) Instead I'll leave a nice little poem titled "So much better then the whole serious slit your wrists bullshit"

You are the brightest of all my desires
and the darkest of all my fears
you're like a heroin addiction that I need to feed
even if I refuse to listen to what my head heeds.
I'm affraid to shed a tear
in case you don't understand how I feel
for that's exactly what initiates my fear
and that a broken heart is difficult to heal

And if that makes me a coward
then so be it
I shall never move forward
for I have nothing else to live toward
so I would end my life with this here household cleaning kit
and feel my heart have a retarted pumping fit
I'd say, goodbye my love,good bye my friend
This is truly the end
As I fall to the ground, my head would take a massive hit
and i'd take my dying breath, as I leaked my last massive shit.

Bitchtastic

But my dreams are vivid.

 rambling is what I do best:

So..i've been pretty upset at the latest revelation from my government owned boarding school, apparently I can't leave until I finish the entire quran or else my old quran teacher gets his ass arrested...Hence, terrible mood yesterday since I can't really go anywhere else. I've talked to my rents about it and if I can finish 1/3 to 1/2 by the end of the year then we're going to stick with our original plans and be back by January. We're going to pretend I got my Leg crushed in some freak motorbike accident and need emergency reconstructive surgery back in Aus. I love my mother.

Anyways, I haven't told you guys about my favourite uncle, with a slight tendency to be slightly insane. Got your attention? good. He's been eating Qat (like tobacco only green!) for bout 30 years now, he's reached the point where it starts to affect his brain about 5 years ago when I was in Somalia. Now he's one crazy motherfucker, we had to chain his ass to the garage, poor guy. Here's some random shit he's done:

1. Pee in the water tank. (The apartment building we lived in back in Taiz had one big water tank that all the residents share)
2. Beat up little kids repeatedly (pretty much all the time)
3. Oh, one time he was worse then usual, we had to lock him in his room coz he was scaring the shit out of the little ones because he said he was seeing Jins (or evil spirits or w/e) and that he had 2 of them as wives -.-

 
That's a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?

 

Anyway, wish me luck in coming back asap. That's all for now.